Lately I have been thinking a little about my identity as a woman and mom.  It is probably because a lot has changed in the past few months.  My son was born in November, we moved in January, I turned 30 in April, and then my husband deployed in May.  It has been a whirlwind and there have been many many many times where I have had to be a responsible adult.  I have had to be more organized than ever.  I am a little (okay, a lot) tired right now and trying to wrap my brain around all of the new responsibility I have in my life.  I am lucky in that when my husband is home, he truly is my partner.  He does dishes, changes diapers, cleans, hangs with the kids so I can go out, etc.  So I am feeling like I am picking up A LOT of slack right now making the sure house runs smoothly, the kids are happy, the pets survive, and the plants don't biodegrade.

This summer is my first true bathing suit season since having kids.  Almost two years ago (sniffle) I gave birth to Kate in early July.  I'm not sure I even put on a swimsuit that summer... if I did, it wasn't in public.  You can thank me later.  One year ago I was pregnant with Connor, and again, I gave myself a pass.  Maternity swimsuits are what they are and if someone looks critically at a pregnant woman in a swimsuit they deserve to be smacked.

So here I am in 2011.  Two kids in two years.  I need a new bathing suit. 

I will admit that I started looking several months ago.  I KNOW a bikini isn't happening this summer so that was off the table.  So it was mostly tankinis and one pieces.  And this is where things get embarrassing and confusing for me.  I started seriously looking at...  skirted swimsuits...  Oh lordy, my fingers are telling me not to even type this because of how embarrassing it is.  If you had asked me 5 years ago who wears skirted suits I would have told you 70+ year old women and mothers who have lost their identity and/or stopped caring.   

I got a Lands End catalogue in the mail a few weeks ago.  I started browsing and they had some suits that I thought might be flattering this summer.  I ordered one.  Then, I had a mini panic attack.  I had just ordered a skirted swimsuit from Lands End.  Did they choose that brand name because it is the true signifier to the END of youth?  Am I now just another mommy in the carpool lane in sweats and a scrunchy?  In a skirted swimsuit at the beach? 

So here it is folks, my skirted suit... 

The top is just your typical tankini halter top in indigo. 

Between being the sole caregiver to my two kids and this skirted suit I think I have gone from 29 to 49 in a month.  So, what do you think?  Is "Lands End" the end?