My son, God love him, hasn't been the best sleeper.  John left the day before he turned six months old and I knew that one of the biggest challenges I was facing as a solo parent was his unpredictable overnight sleeping, early wakings, and then having to face the day without naps and without any help.  Go to bed early?  Well, I try, but I am usually faced with a house that looks like a bomb went off at the end of the day.  Cheerios everywhere.  Toys, play doh, and baby wipes everywhere.  Me?  Hungry, tired, and annoyed that I can't just plop on the couch and watch something mind numbing like "Extra". 

For the first few months that John was gone I would go to bed at 10, be up for the first feeding at about 11:30, up again at about 3, and then for the day at about 6.  Connor and I worked very hard to remedy this and eventually I had him to just one feeding at 3, and up for the day at 6.  But the goal has always been 7-7.  Down at 7PM, up at 7AM well rested and ready to throw more Cheerios.  You should see my bedside table... Ferber and Weissbluth and all of the "sleep doctors".  Shoot, if Justin Bieber came out with a sleep book I would probably buy it.  I have been desperate.

For most kids, sleep takes effort, strategy, and resolve.  Nobody likes to listen to their baby cry.  It is just one of the many layers of mommy guilt.  Lying in bed, listening to the baby cry and your mind swirling with "this is for his good, he needs to learn to sleep" versus "he is too little, he needs cuddles, he needs me" versus "if I go to him he will just learn that crying = cuddling" and so on and so forth until your baby has settled and you are still lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and beating yourself up over your choices.  Everything is always worse at night.  And for me, it is always worse without John to chat with and make parenting decisions as a team.  It is all on me.  Therapy bills will be my fault alone.



But the times, they are a changin'.  For the last several nights my son has gone to bed without an issue at about 7 PM and slept, without a peep, until 7 AM.  I find him in his crib with a gigantic smile on his face.  No crying, no fussing - just a well rested, happy, baby.  For the last few nights, I have actually slept from about 10-6:30.  Uninterrupted, amazing, wondrous sleep that I haven't experienced in about... mmm... two and a half years (by the time Kate was sleeping soundly at night I was pregnant with Connor... and when I'm pregnant I sleep terribly).

So this morning I don't need coffee.  Caffeine is not an absolute requirement to function.  Celebratory mimosas for all!

(I realize that by writing this post we are going to have an epically bad night of sleep tonight, but whatever, I'm celebrating for now!)