Friday, May 20, 2011
Don't Blink
Since my husband deployed last week I have been doing a lot of thinking about time. Time in relation to people (particularly my kids), time in relation to events, and just the dichotomy of wanting time to speed up and slow down at the very same moment. An hour at the DMV? Might as well be a month. An hour massage? Don't blink because you'll miss it.
For those of you stumbling across this blog, my husband is in the Navy. He recently deployed for a scheduled 7 month deployment. I have a 22 month old daughter and a 6 month old son. The morning after J walked out the door and began his cruise I looked at my 6 month old and realized that my husband will be away longer than my son has been alive. And that some days it feels like my son has been with me my whole life, while other days I can't believe I am taking another "he's x months today!" photo for his scrapbook (and yea, for Facebook).
I am wondering how this deployment will feel. I am also hoping that I can find the strength to enjoy my children, revel in their milestones, and **just be**. I think a lot of military spouses struggle to find the balance between wishing away the months between now and homecoming and at the same time, living and enjoying the moment. We don't have that partner across the room to witness the little things with us, so we make a conscious effort to do it alone.
Which brings me to the purpose of this shiny new blog. I have always loved to document. I love photo albums, scrapbooks, and things that help to remember the details of life. I want to remember this 7 months. The good, the bad, the DMV. I don't want to feel alone in my thoughts or not have someone to share the moment with. I have no idea what it will look like in December, but I am hoping that my husband will look at it and know that we LIVED while he was gone. And while I wish he was here with us, I will not wish away the months.
For those of you stumbling across this blog, my husband is in the Navy. He recently deployed for a scheduled 7 month deployment. I have a 22 month old daughter and a 6 month old son. The morning after J walked out the door and began his cruise I looked at my 6 month old and realized that my husband will be away longer than my son has been alive. And that some days it feels like my son has been with me my whole life, while other days I can't believe I am taking another "he's x months today!" photo for his scrapbook (and yea, for Facebook).
I am wondering how this deployment will feel. I am also hoping that I can find the strength to enjoy my children, revel in their milestones, and **just be**. I think a lot of military spouses struggle to find the balance between wishing away the months between now and homecoming and at the same time, living and enjoying the moment. We don't have that partner across the room to witness the little things with us, so we make a conscious effort to do it alone.
Which brings me to the purpose of this shiny new blog. I have always loved to document. I love photo albums, scrapbooks, and things that help to remember the details of life. I want to remember this 7 months. The good, the bad, the DMV. I don't want to feel alone in my thoughts or not have someone to share the moment with. I have no idea what it will look like in December, but I am hoping that my husband will look at it and know that we LIVED while he was gone. And while I wish he was here with us, I will not wish away the months.
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5 comments:
Great post. Time is certainly a funny thing in the military. I remember feeling just like you last year. Except the whole 2 under 2 thing...I was only rockin' 1 under 1. :) I look forward to reading over the next seven months.
Karen
So happy to see you have got it started! Great post. xx
I am so happy you finally doing this. Welcome to the blog world. Great first post. I struggle with a lot of this too. I want to live and have fun but its kind of bittersweet knowing he is missing it. Anyways really like. You can do this :)
Welcome to the dark side! Looking forward to stalking you. :D
Great first post. I really enjoy reading your posts on OHO and I love your voice of reason, so I'm looking forward to this new blog.
-Mandy (ShopaholicM)
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