Sorry I have been MIA, folks.  It has been a really crazy few weeks and I just haven't gotten a chance to sit down and write about it.  The biggest problem is that we had a leak in our den that happened to occur exactly over my netbook.  Seriously, my computer was like a sad cartoon character with a dark rain cloud riiiiiight on top of it.  The keyboard shorted out and my link to the outside world shorted out with it.  We have a computer in our office upstairs, but unless I wanted my kids dancing on the dining room table (um, for those of you who know Connor, you know I mean that literally), I don't get up there much during the day.

A few days ago a Jacksonville, North Carolina newspaper published an article about "great" jobs for military spouses.  The writer, Mabel Newsome, starts the article painting a favorable picture of military spouses.  We are more educated than the general public, we want (and in many cases need) to work, and we have a lot of powerful women on our side.  Jill Biden and Michelle Obama have been working diligently to pass common sense legislation that would make careers more portable for military spouses.  Because nursing, teaching, law, and many dozens of other careers require licenses given by the state, a PCS from Virginia to California can cause a successful and talented person's career to come to a screeching halt.  Pair that with the red tape of getting re-certified/licensed and by the time that spouse is eligible to work again, they are staring down a new set of orders.  To a new state.  With a new spool of red tape and requirements and/or tests.  Thank you, Dr. Biden and Mrs. Obama, for your efforts.This is important stuff that benefits the military family as a whole.

Back to the article.  The first few paragraphs looked promising.  Ms. Newsome was right on target.  Military spouses are valuable assets to a company.  We are educated and motivated.  We do want to work.  She sites MSEP (Military Spouse Education Partnership) and the new partnership they are developing with Fortune 500 companies to create employment opportunities for military spouses.  Careers that are portable but lucrative and that utilize the talents that so often go to waste in this lifestyle. 

Then came the list.  Ms. Newsome, with the "help" of MSEP, came up with the most insulting and archaic list of "good" careers for military spouses.  I swear I looked at my calendar to make sure I hadn't time warped back to 1962.  And I double checked that the article was indeed from Tuesday.  You can see the total list HERE. Some highlights? "Temp work", "errand runner", and my personal favorite "gift basket creator".

Seriously?

No, I mean it, SERIOUSLY?  My jaw was on the floor.  All of that drippy "military spouses are the best" and "look at these Fortune 500 companies that want their talent" culminated in a list of things that require no education and where the pay is extremely low.  Like, "let's keep these silly military spouses in the poverty zone" low.  This is what the Jacksonville News thinks as our potential?  "Great" jobs that we should look forward to doing with our "above average" educations?  Sad.

In my nine years as a military spouse I have met successful lawyers, doctors, nurses, teachers, counselors, pharmacists, CPAs, and business owners.  My mind has been blown by how creative and awesome military spouses can be at making their careers work.  I have worked professional jobs where I used my Master's degree and made great money and had awesome benefits.  It can be done.  It is done every day.  We need to make examples of these women.  This list is not the "best".  It is disgusting and unacceptable and I am angry.

The worst part of this article?  Young spouses might read this and think that this is their limit.  That it is impossible for a military spouse to actually do something that provides excellent pay and benefits.  Young women might throw their hands in the air and decide not to go to college or graduate school because, if "selling handcrafted goods online" is the best they can do, why bother with school?

Before I get inundated with emails from substitute teachers and women with etsy businesses, I want to say that there is nothing wrong with the jobs on this list.  I know many people who love selling Avon or who enjoy substitute teaching.  My problem is that this list implies that we are not worthy of a professional identity.  That the jobs that so many spouses are trained to do are out of our reach, even with the help of our FLOTUS, Fortune 500 partnerships, and MSEP.  Why is it "substitute teaching" on the list and not simply "teaching"?  Why is it "temp" on the list and not "business professional" or "consultant"?

Because there is a deep perception in the professional world that military spouses can't.  And this perception is only fueled by lists and articles like this; framed as a compliment but then ending by slapping us across the face and telling us we aren't worthy.

We want careers.  We want to have a salary and benefits that helps to build our own retirement and not be completely dependent (ha, the military's favorite word!) on our husbands.  We are not second place to our spouses because they are the ones serving, we have the right to be on the same level professionally.  We shouldn't be told to turn our evenings watching the "Food Network" into a job - we should be told to take our college educations and turn them into a career.  Young spouses should feel encouraged, not discouraged, by articles such as these.

Ms. Newsome and the Jacksonville Daily News should be ashamed of themselves.  We are so much better than this.

Hermit crab free!  A miracle considering the "beach crap" store across the street was giving them away.  Seriously, can someone please explain why all beach towns love to saddle parents with new pets while on vacation?


As most family vacations go, it was a week of ups and downs.  I am very happy that we went, and watching the cousins play was a blast, but the vacation gods made sure that we worked for it.

The morning after we got into town Kate had a high fever.  Her ears were bright red so I decided to take her into Urgent Care ("Beach" Urgent Care...  I petition that the words "beach" and "urgent care" never be on a marquis together, mmmkay?) to make sure she didn't have an ear infection.  We went in and her ears were clear.  She was running a low grade fever but nothing else was popping up.  Viral illness was the diagnosis and we were sent back to our condo to ride it out.

My sweet Kate wears every last bit of her feelings out in the open.  She can be the nicest, sweetest, most compassionate and understanding toddler you have ever met.  She can also be a raging beast when she doesn't feel well.  Kate with a fever?  Watch out world.  She bites.  And whines.  And wants to murder her brother for just looking at her and blinking.  To put it mildly, she is really hard to be around.  Especially when we are out of our element and living in a small space with lots of other people.

By Tuesday I couldn't take it anymore.  She was miserable, I was miserable, her fever was high and her mouth was bothering her.  Back to Beach Urgent Care we went and after about 30 minutes we were diagnosed with strep.  Antibiotics are better than the strongest cocktail for a mom.  A few doses later Kate was perking up and starting to enjoy the reason we were there: to play on the beach!

We spent the rest of the week playing in the sand, hanging at the pool, splashing in the baby pool, cruising around the lazy river, and vegging out on the balcony.



On Saturday we packed the car back up and headed home.   

Have a WONDERFUL 4th of July!

To my dear sweet Kate,

Happy 3rd Birthday! 

Three years ago today we were at the hospital and shocked that you were joining us so soon.  You weren't due until August, and daddy and I both thought we had another month to prepare for your arrival.  It was a little scary for us, but you were born healthy and perfect.  A tiny little prize fighter who needed zero intervention or NICU time.  Our miracle on so many levels.