Monday, April 29, 2013

Embrace Local

There are pros and cons to moving every two or three years.  You don't grow roots, but you get to see a lot of new things.  You make many friends from many areas and countries, but you have to say "see you later" far too often.  And on a lighter note, you get to experience the local food and shopping scene, but you never become that "regular" that goes there for decades.

By far, one of my favorite things about the military lifestyle is living in areas long enough to explore the local culture and vibe.  I am one of those people who loves to try new restaurants, wineries, and visit small downtown areas.  You won't find me in a chain restaurant unless it is a dire circumstance (like, a road trip where even Yelp can't find me a place other than Cracker Barrel) and my husband makes me pay in cash at Wal Mart because he doesn't want any paper record of us ever shopping there.  No, not kidding.  Supporting local families and getting a quality product and a good shopping/eating experience are things we appreciate very much.  (I realize I might sound hipster or snotty and I hope I don't.  Believe me, I love Amazon Prime a little too much.)

Yesterday Johnny and I got to experience a wonderful local farm experience.  For my birthday, we bought tickets to a Wine and Cheese Appreciation event at Green Dirt Farm.  It was a pairing of farmstead cheese with the Amigoni, a local urban Kansas City winery.  And as if that wasn't enough, we happened to be seated next to a writer/reviewer from Edible Magazine.  Um, can I have her job, please?

The barn at Green Dirt Farm, Weston, MO
 
I now have a list impossibly long of all of the amazing Kansas City eateries, butchers, farmer's markets, and local farms to try.  We are only here until December, so hopefully we can experience enough where we feel like we really "did" Kansas and Missouri local. 
 
If you are at Fort Leavenworth or coming here soon I highly recommend the food and wine events that Green Dirt Farm hosts.  The food and wine was delicious, the atmosphere was wonderful, and the hosts were extremely friendly and made us feel right at home.  I am so excited for the Leavenworth Farmer's Market to open back up next week so that we can buy more of their delicious cheese throughout the summer and fall. 
 
If you are a military family, do you prefer trying the new or do you find comfort in staying with familiar favorites? 
 
For local recommendations and to write reviews of your local favorites, visit Military Word of Mouth, a great website created and run by my good friend Laura.  The website only gets stronger with more opinions and critiques!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Runners will Overcome

I call myself a runner, but I know I am probably not as avid or dedicated as millions of others.  I love to run, the endorphin rush is amazing.  I love the solitude, the breathing, the music, and even the clothes.  On a crisp day I cannot think of anything more satisfying than a long run in a pretty place.

Non-runners don't really understand runners.  They don't understand why people would pay a good sum of money to hoof it 3 or 10 or 13 or 26 miles.  For most, it isn't the race itself.  It isn't the medal, or the "swag", or even the post-race beer. It is the feel of these racing events.  The people, the support, the beautiful encouragement from fellow runners and spectators.  Racing events truly are some of the most inspirational and positive places you can be.  All shapes and sizes, all athletic abilities, all nationalities coming together going one direction and pushing each other on.  The avid marathoner pushing on a first time racer.  The mom who has lost 30 pounds of baby weight and looks at that finish line with more meaning and pride than she can explain.  The sister of the cancer survivor who went from the couch to a 5k to a 1/2 Marathon and beyond in the name of her cause.  Lots of energy, moving together, helping each other.  Aside from the very elite, most are not competing with anyone but themselves.


 
I cannot express how heart broken I am about the bombing at the Boston Marathon.  I am sad for the city, the victims, their families, and of course for the running community as a whole.  Worried that racing venues will need TSA-esque check points and that runners will always worry about their family and friends who are there in support.  Sad that events created to inspire health and happiness will be marred with reminders of the darkness that sometimes envelopes us.
 

 
Runners will overcome.  If you think about the mentality it takes to run a marathon, what those individuals had to do to train their bodies to endure 26.2 grueling miles, you know that those terrorists have messed with the wrong crowd.  Races will go on. 
 
 
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
~Martin Luther King, Jr
 
For me, this incident has inspired to sign up for some races this summer and fall.  To support the running community in the wake of this horrific tragedy.  Refuse to do what those evil people wanted most: to be terrorized and paralyzed.  Hopefully others will do the same.  
Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Spring!


Green grass, shorts, a nice breeze, sidewalk chalk, and a flower lei...  What more could a 3 year old ask for?

Slowly but surely the temperatures are starting to warm up.  It is still in the 30s in the morning, but by mid afternoon we are over 50 which feels rather balmy.  I, like so many others, get annoyed with constant weather complaints on Facebook.  It is like the complaining during daylight savings time.  It is what it is, it happens every year, it is cyclical, get over it, blah blah blah.  I know.  So when I whine about the weather I pretty much want to slap myself in the face.  I'm sure people have defriended me over my winter blues.  But people, this winter has been the longest of my life.  Probably because we moved in December so any time you are adjusting to a new area where you know not a soul and your kids have no friends and you are stuck in a place that isn't quite organized and it is 10 degrees outside you just want to sob.  And I did cry.  It snowed our first night in Kansas in early December and the last snow mound (dear God, please let that be the last snow mound) just melted a few days ago. It was the first time we moved where I just felt out of sorts and completely out of my element.

But as the days are getting longer and the temperatures are rising higher I am starting to feel much better.  More at home and less like the grumpy hermit I had become.  Things are looking up!  I am ready for bubbles and playgrounds and the pool and tank tops and flip flops and even complaining about humidity and mosquitos.  As I approach my 32nd birthday at the end of the month I am finally comfortable admitting that I am most comfortable in warm to hot climates with lots of sunshine.  My husband and sister (and most of my extended family who are avid skiers) always make me feel like such an outcast with my dislike of winter.  But I am embracing it.  I am a greenhouse flower and just get sad looking if the temperatures drop below 50.

So there you have it, an entire post about the weather.  Like an awkward conversation with a stranger on an elevator.  Happy Spring!
Monday, April 1, 2013

Everyone Serves


It's here! I'm officially published!


For a good portion of last year I was contracted by Blue Star Families, a wonderful non profit organization that advocates for military members and their families, to help re-write a deployment toolkit.  "The toolkit" as we came to call it over the months of research, re-writes, and edits, is a comprehensive guide for families of all branches of the service (including the Coast Guard) to prepare for, endure, and reintegrate after a deployment. 

We are all very proud of the final product and extremely happy that it has come together.  If you are a military spouse, please download the free toolkit and share it with your support groups.  It is full of checklists, resources for military families, mental health information, information about children during deployments, and even information for extended family and friends.

As I was researching and writing I was amazed at the information available to us these days, but dismayed by how hard it is to wade through and how there are a thousand websites with a few pieces of information.  Hopefully we have created the "one stop shop" for military families facing down deployment. If you check it out, we'd love your feedback!

Click here to see the book: EVERYONE SERVES
 
 
 

 
 
 
Wednesday, March 13, 2013

The Most Lavish Benefit of All

An article written by David Wood that was published in late January  by Huffington Post has gained serious steam within the military community the past few days.  Originally titled “After Decades of Lavish Benefits, Military Personnel Fear Cuts”, then watered down to a less rage inciting "Defense Budget Faces Cuts to Personnel After Decade of War", the column has inspired many military and non-military families to speak out against inaccuracies and assumptions many civilians have about compensation in the armed forces.

I am not going to dismantle the article piece by piece.  My friend Karen at And Then We Laughed did a wonderful job at pointing out the errors and illustrating where Wood really gives away his complete and utter disconnect and ignorance about the service in general.  Making General rank in 16 years? 30% off at the commissary? Implying that the Pentagon pays for all of our housing costs when we live off base?  You gave yourself away, Mr. Wood.  It is a shame that none of the editors at HuffPo caught on.  Read Karen's article and you will see how I feel about all of this. 

Mr. Wood, (and any other misguided American citizen who was nodding or "liking" Mr. Wood's diatribe), the most lavish benefit of all? The all volunteer military force that exists in this country and has since the end of the Vietnam war. 

Knowing that your child won't be drafted into the service:  huge and lavish benefit.  Your right to go to college and not have to serve your country before entering the workforce: lavish (and somewhat controversial) benefit.  Being able to sleep at night knowing someone is standing the watch protecting you and your family, both at home and abroad: lavish benefit.  Having your husband or wife or child home for the holidays, not worrying about them being sent overseas at a moment's notice: Lavish benefit. 

I could go on and on and on.

The irony?  These cuts, these completely baseless and sloppy hack jobs that are being done to our Defense spending thanks to sequestration and congressional gridlock, are threatening the civilian benefits I listed above.  If you take away everything that makes the military even slightly lucrative then recruitment and retention plummet.  If you put families on Welfare, make them live in substandard housing, take away their education benefits, strip away retirement, make medical care expensive or non existent, then who on earth is going to stay in the military? 

The all volunteer force is a privilege that the American public has taken for granted.  Congress has also taken it for granted.  Since Mr. Wood obviously passed on the "lavish" lifestyle of being a service member, maybe his eyes will open when the benefit of choosing not to serve is taken away from him or his children.
Thursday, February 14, 2013

My Favorite Love Story

In honor of Valentine's Day I wanted to post the story of my grandparents, Stan and Jill, as written by my grandmother.  They have been married for 67 years and met in England during WWII.  For greatest effect, read in your very best British accent.
 
Marry Me, Marry Me
By: Jill Adelman (my grandmother)
 
In September 1944 I took the train from Holyhead, Anglesey to Braintree, Essex on a weeks leave.  I was a wireless operator in the Women's Royal Naval Service.  It was a sad for me going home as things were desolate in England at the time.  Everyone was fed up with the war.  My mother was really war weary and although her health was alright my father was suffering from cancer that would eventually take his life.  I couldn't bear to see him in pain and my mother so distressed.  None of my friends were around and I was bored and guilty because I was bored.  It was then that I met Stan Adelman, a young American. 
 
He was stationed at Andrew's Field just outside of Braintree.  I bumped into him in a blackout outside the bank across the street from the White Hart Pub.  He was with a group of guys from his squadron, the 451st Bomb Squadron flying B-26 Marauders.  There were four or five of them, all laughing, handsome, and dashing in their pinks and greens, the uniform of the Army Air Corps.
 
Stan grabbed my shoulder and yelled, "hey fellers, look what I found!"  He then asked me to have a drink with him, which I did since he was the best looking of the bunch.  We talked for a couple of hours and really liked one another immediately.  During the evening he said, "will you marry me?" which I took to be a joke.  Very cleverly I answered, "ask me tomorrow".  We met again the following evening, different pub this time, for more drinks and talk during which Stan asked me again to marry him.  I again replied "ask me tomorrow!"
 
I forgot an important point.  On our first date I noticed a signet ring on his finger with the initials SA engraved on it.  "What does SA stand for?" I asked, "Sex Appeal!" he replied without hesitation.
 
The following evening we had another date.  Stan did not appear.  Oh well, I thought, too bad.  He was very nice and a star in my drab existence at the time, but c'est le guerre!
 
The next day my leave was up and I had to return to my base in Holyhead.  Back to radios, the Morse code, dreary Naval watches, and our ghastly Chief Petty Officer.  Life went on.  I eventually recieved a letter from Stan explaining that his base had been locked down on the night of our third date and that the squadron had been shipped out to France.  Stan was flying bombing missions during that long winter off 1944-1945, and flew 53 combat missions. 
 
On April 5, 1945 I got a sudden phone call from Stan to say he was coming to visit me in Holyhead.  He had been sent to a hospital in Southport on, what the boys called "flak leave", for rest and relaxation.  Well, he would have none of that, so he skipped out and found his way to Holyhead.  This was amazing as it was so difficult getting around in those days as public transportation was severely limited.  I went to meet him from the 1:45 train and I knew I would marry him as soon as he threw his B-4 bag on the platform.  There he appeared, looking thinner but still my glamorous flyboy.  We were married in June of 1945 and have been together ever since. 
 
Stan and Jill on their wedding day
Thursday, February 7, 2013

The Unknown Fear

Nothing is more frightening than a fear you cannot name
~ Cornelia Funke, Inkheart
 
Yesterday afternoon the USS Truman and CVW 3 and the USS Gettysburg were surprised by the news that their deployment was postponed indefinitely. The deployment they were planning on leaving for within the next couple of days would not be happening as scheduled.  Or maybe ever.  Who knows really?  Flag officers and politicians have PhDs in being vague and that is exactly how today's news was presented. 
 
Vague.  Gray.  Full of "we want to care for the families" and "we'll be ready when they need us" but void of useful information about whether people could rest easy or not.
 
Most of you are probably wondering why I'm not just 100% happy about this turn of events.  After all, I have many good friends on the Truman.  One of my best friends has been processing the start of this deployment ever since their work-ups were accelerated last year.  Another friend is due to have her first child and her husband might now be home for the birth.  Those friends won't have to say a tearful goodbye on Friday.  Great news, right?
 
Yes.
 
But it isn't that simple. There is also something about the way that all of this has unfolded that has left me frustrated and angry.  Bitter about the Navy and uncertain about my future as a spouse of a carrier aviator.  This isn't black and white.  Bad and good.  You cannot in one simple command shed the wet blanket that you wear as a military spouse preparing for deployment.
 
Preparing for a deployment is serious business.  Both on the military front and on the home front.  As the carriers go out to sea and work toward their operational readiness, families at home work toward emotional readiness for a deployment.  Tears are shed.  POAs are written.  Trips home are planned. Sometimes spouses move home to their families.  People give up apartments, sell cars, cancel cell phones, end relationships, and choose not to take classes for a semester or two.  This is just the tip of a very very deep iceberg.  Preparing for deployment is exhausting.  And you run and run and run, a marathon of work-ups and ins and outs and ups and downs until you are literally chomping at the bit and saying, "honey, I love you, I will miss you, BUT LEAVE ALREADY!!!!"
 
Multiply this exhaustion by about 6,000 families. 
 
I know that at least for my good friend, she was at this "get out of my house" point.  She was ready to say "goodbye".  Ready because, once you finally say goodbye and watch the ship pull away you can shift into deployment mode and start counting down to homecoming.  It is hard for non military families to understand, but deployment is often a release; an exhale of emotion because, finally, you aren't anticipating everything so heavily.  It is here.  You can act.  You can grieve, but you can also start doing all the things you have been planning on.
 
6,000 families are now being told they must continue to hold their breath.
 
Deployment wasn't canceled with a reassuring "don't worry, your service member will be home for you".  It was taken away and replaced with the unknown.  A vague postponement where they will be ready to deploy with little to no notice.  Maybe.  Who knows. 
 
These families will be living on pins and needles.  They likely won't be able to plan vacations.  They will be nervous to sign new leases, cancel their current deployment plans and procedures, and start really planning their everyday lives the way most Americans can.  Families will nervously wonder what is going on, keep their ears perked up for any information that they can glean from the "powers that be".  Grasping for anything, any clue, any indication, that they will have to steel themselves for those dreaded pre-deployment weeks. 
 
This makes me sad.  Sad because, as a military spouse I already live with dozens of unknowns.  I am in Kansas right now and I don't know what state or coast I will be sitting in 12 months from now.  I don't know where my kids will go to school.  I don't know when my husband's next deployment will happen.  And now, with this development, once I do know his deployment schedule I now know that less than 48 hours before he leaves they could just pull the entire rug out from under us.
 
It isn't right.  I know that this whole thing comes down to the one thing that runs the world: money.  And I know it is completely naive of me to think that families would come first.  But his kind of emotional whiplash takes a toll.  It is wrong.  And it is disrespectful to the service members and their families.  Disrespectful of their hard work, dedication, and planning. 
 
My girlfriends don't deserve to be living in fear of the unknown.  I don't deserve to live in fear of the unknown. And service members, as brave and flexible and wonderful as they are, definitely don't deserve it.
 


Hi, I'm Jill!

Hi, I'm Jill!
Extrovert. Mom of two. Wife of a cute Naval Aviator. Lover of wine. When I'm not chasing my two kids around town you will find me writing, taking too many photos, and researching the ten future areas the Navy could potentially (but probably won't) PCS us. We are fish out of water, landlocked at 7,000 feet. For now.

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