Tuesday, January 6, 2015

2015: The Year of Work Ups

Happy New Year!

I hope all of you are doing well and setting into the fresh new year. It is a balmy 81 degrees right now (at 10 AM) and I still haven't quite gotten used to the no season thing out here in California. Don't get me wrong though, I love it. Aside from a grumpy October (too hot for my "basic bitch" pumpkin spice lattes) I have just adored the idea of always being outside, having windows open, and enjoying unlimited Vitamin D.

Every blogger I know wrote something about resolutions. I don't have any resolutions, really. As I become older I realize that resolutions never really stick for me and it is just a matter of making changes as they present themselves. I've started a 365 project to help keep me active with my camera, and hopefully, assuming my lovely editor doesn't fire me, will be writing more at "Military Spouse Magazine" this year. So my two favorite hobbies of writing and photography will grow this year.

The biggest change this year will come in the form of work ups. Or should I say Work Ups. It feels heavy on my heart so I feel like I should pronounce that phrase with more emphasis. Maybe in some spooky font.

WORK UPS

There, that's better.

Work ups are the typical training rotation that happens before a Navy unit (air wing, carrier strike group, etc) deploys. The general public tends to think that the units are either home or away. Lots of fanfare over departures and homecomings, but not much about the long cycle of in and out that precedes them. It isn't just deployment that turns family life over on it's head and means a lot of time away. It is the preparation for said deployment that is really tumultuous. As of my veteran Navy wife friends said to me a few days ago, "if you can survive the tempo between now and November, deployment will be a piece of cake." Sadly, that's true.

This isn't our first rodeo. John has done three previous deployments and we've done work ups before. But as our kids get older and more aware of the presence of their daddy, the ins and outs of training and exercises tax them more and more. Which, of course, taxes me more and more.It sounds cliche, but the burden has shifted from me (mental and physical task of getting two babies through the last deployment) to my kids.  Connor, our four year old son, will call out for John in his sleep when he's away. Kate, our five year old, just pretty much wants her daddy around 24/7. Even the work day is an inconvenience to her. I've become more seasoned and definitely don't pine away for my husband (sorry, sweety!) the way I did when we were 23 year old newlyweds and facing down our first deployment, but having to carry my kids through this experience is going to be a new emotional experience.

I won't be changing any diapers but I will be wiping many tears.

And so 2015 will pretty much be defined by the ins and outs of work ups. It's condensed and complicated; he'll likely be gone a total of 6 months between now and the end of the year when they are scheduled to deploy. And then we have the, ya know, actual deployment. Right now that is scheduled to be about 8 months. Don't count all those months, it literally makes me nauseous to try and digest that all at once. One month at a time, one thing at a time.

I started writing this blog when John deployed in 2011. This was my safe place, a place to write it all out at the end of a marathon day. I love looking back on those posts. Hopefully, this place can be that haven again. Hopefully you will all bear with me. I'll be looking for silver linings, for growth, gratitude for the great community I have around me, appreciation for the fact that I live in a neighborhood that does my yard work, three cheers for two kids who will be in school daily. Lots of things I know not everyone has. I promise not to be a damsel in distress.

My friend Karen's husband left her a gift when he was going through an equally challenging time in the Army. Just a patch on the kitchen counter with a message that I will be using to help me through.



Our expectations form our experiences in life. I don't expect this year to be full of family stability. That said, I will embrace what I do have: lots of friends who understand what I'm going through, great schools that my kids love, a great neighborhood where my kids can play freely and safely, wine and coffee, and the deep understanding that this won't last forever. I've done it before, I'll do it again. 

New year, new set of challenges. That's life, right? If you have any tips on getting kids through with work ups without setting them up for a lifetime of therapy (or a major separation anxiety issue), please leave a comment!


3 comments:

Karen @ And Then We Laughed said...

And with the new set of challenges will come even greater rewards. The Army doesn't call the pre-deployment time 'work-ups', rather it is just a seemingly random series of field time, JRTC rotations, and NTC rotations. I do agree with your friend that if you can survive the pre-deployment time, you can survive a deployment. I am sorry that 2015 and 2016 will filled with long absences. :( I don't really have any advice - the longest C has been away in the past 2-3 years is 2-3 weeks. We're gearing up for a 4 month separation soon after we PCS and I am curious as to how W is going to handle it. As for me - pshhh, I think we've crossed into 'seasoned' military wife territory. :)

p.s. When I first saw the picture, I was like "Hey, I have that patch!" Haha.

we3ernes said...

Oh, nice to see that our motto is universal! I think the two most commonly used phrases last year (1-yr. remote) were "EMBRACE THE SUCK" and "IT IS WHAT IT IS". My only was 12-13 through his remote tour and we were far away from a base so it was hard, hard, hard. Living near family was a good choice in some respects, but I think I underestimated the catharsis you get talking to other military spouses.... Prayers for you and your littles.

jagadeesh reddy said...

How to be calm at work (14 things to do to stay calm at work)

Hi, I'm Jill!

Hi, I'm Jill!
Extrovert. Mom of two. Wife of a cute Naval Aviator. Lover of wine. When I'm not chasing my two kids around town you will find me writing, taking too many photos, and researching the ten future areas the Navy could potentially (but probably won't) PCS us. We are fish out of water, landlocked at 7,000 feet. For now.

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