Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Keep Your Eyes Open

When I look out on the horizon I see boxes.  Road maps, unfamiliar places, new people.


Missed holidays, missed locations, missed teachers, missed friends, missed everyday comforts, sounds, and sights.  The little things. 

I see this map and get a pit in my stomach.

That looks really far away to me.  It is in a foreign place.  I know that the term "flyover states" offends some and I can see why.  But for me, that has been what they are.  I have never ventured into this land-locked part of the country and while I know that this new adventure will be great, my nerves are starting to wake up and psych me out.
I'm trying to lighten up.  You know how sometimes when you are driving, or sitting in a coffee shop (or whatever), and a song comes on and speaks to you?  Seems to pull you out of your driving daze and make you really think?  That happened to me today.  And even though I have heard this song a hundred times (thanks for the variety, XM!) it just sat differently this morning.  Here is one verse:
If you could soldier on
Headstrong into the storm
I’ll be here waiting on the other side
Don’t look back
The road is long
The first days of the war are gone
Take back your former throne and turn the tide
Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown
till you
Keep your eyes open, my love

So tell me you’re strong, tell me you see
I need to hear it, will you promise me to
Keep your eyes open, my love
~Needtobreathe "Keep Your Eyes Open"
Deep down, I know that I have one life to live.  One chance to see this big wide world and meet as many people as I can.  I know that being able to move and see new things can be a wonderful blessing.  I know my kids will be okay.  That we will find a great new community and make happy memories in Kansas.  And wherever else the Navy sends us, Amen.
I am trying to remember that.  Really, I am.
If you are interested in the whole song you can see the video here:




Jenni Stearns said... long will you be there and what will Johnny be doing?

You're going to do great! My cousin is in Kansas and she's super nice! I can "introduce" you so you'll know someone if you'd like :)

I bet a year or so from now when you're heading out to your next assignment you'll be sad to leave Kansas.

Jill said...

Jenni, Johnny will be attending the Command General Staff College there for their ILE course (the same course they offer to LCDRs at Navy War College).

Thanks for the encouragement! I know I probably sound whiney since you guys just up and moved to Central America. But... waaaaaaah!!

Karen said...

You are going to have a wonderful adventure. I have lived in a lot of states in this country and wouldn't have it any other way. Each state/locale/region/etc.. has it's own unique personality and I think it is shame that so many people leave this earth without experiencing them.

Life is adventure. And there is no other way to live it!

Angie said...

Since I am biased about that area, I will say that you will have a great time there! It definitely isn't as big as what you are used to, but it is a great area to raise a family. I hope you love Kansas as much as I do!

Hi, I'm Jill!

Hi, I'm Jill!
Extrovert. Mom of two. Wife of a cute Naval Aviator. Lover of wine. When I'm not chasing my two kids around town you will find me writing, taking too many photos, and researching the ten future areas the Navy could potentially (but probably won't) PCS us. We are fish out of water, landlocked at 7,000 feet. For now.

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