Eight years ago John and I said "I do" and I was ceremoniously welcomed into the Navy...


We met during winter break of my sophomore year of high school.  I invited some friends over and he happened to be hanging with that group on that particular night.  Lucky me!  He was very shy, didn't say much to me, but there was just something about him.  I was only 15 so it wasn't one of those "there you are" moments that I hear happen to people in their twenties when they see "the one".  But it was definitely an instant crush.  He was so cute - dimples, athletic but preppy, and sweet.  And a little mysterious.  He went to a Catholic high school a few miles away so he wasn't a guy that I had been in school with since pre-K.

Ever since that night we have been a pair.  We are 30 now.  We have been together half of our lives.  Through thick and thin, college apart, a young marriage at 22, 3 deployments, graduate school for both of us, Test Pilot School (believe me, huge accomplishment for a marriage), a dozen apartments and houses, two babies, and countless adventures.  Here we are.  

Here we are.  In the midst of a deployment.  I do a pretty good job at keeping myself upbeat and positive.  I am busy so the days seem to fly by and I find myself winded going up the stairs 23253 times per day.- usually with at least 25 pounds of squirmy baby or toddler in tow.  But on days like yesterday, our anniversary, the little pauses and quiet moments I had to myself were sad.  I know lots of couples travel for work and spend time apart.  But I think it is safe to say that most find a way to be home on big days like anniversaries and birthdays.  In short: I miss him.   A lot. 

John managed to have three dozen beautiful red roses delivered to me (no easy  feat from an aircraft carrier) and one of my best friends (and bridesmaids), Melissa, sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  My house smells wonderful!  I felt very loved yesterday and am hopeful that next year we can be together.

Our wedding day was really wonderful.  It had rained (and rained and rained and rained) the whole month of June.  I was mentally preparing myself for a wash out which wouldn't have been a big deal except for our reception site was an indoor/outdoor venue.  The outdoor part really meant a lot to me.  But we were lucky, not only was it beautiful, but the rain the night before had really cooled everything down.  So we got a rare high 70s day with no humidity in late June.

My bridesmaids were beautiful (even if they did forget their IDs and one attempted to kill me with her bouquet...)

I know that it was hard for Johnny to miss Kate's birthday party.  So I decided that I would send a little taste of the party to him.  Today I put a care package together that would allow him to eat cake, see her invite, and even wear the awesome pink duckie beads that I know every naval aviator in the air wing will be jealous of.


Cake in a Jar:

5 16 oz wide-mouth canning jars
1 package of cake mix (any flavor)
Icing

Boil the jars for approximately 10 minutes to sterilize
Prepare the cake mix as directed on the box
Spray each jar liberally with cooking spray (such as Pam)
Put approximately 1 cup of cake batter in each sterilized jar (I used a measuring cup so that I could pour the cake batter without getting it on the sides of the jar)
Bake jars at 375 for about 25-30 minutes
Boil the lids while the cake is baking
Use a long kabob skewer or something similar to make sure the cake is completely baked (put it in the cake and make sure it comes out clean)
While being very careful, put the hot lids onto the jars.  As the jars cool it will seal the lids.
Done!

Send along icing, plates, knives, and any other goodies you want to.

It was a fun experiment putting these together today.  I hope he knows how much he is missed.  Kate decorated his party hat with stickers so I'm sure he will be thrilled.

My daughter absolutely adores ducks.  Rubber ducks, stuffed ducks, real ducks; she doesn't discriminate.  Her first words other than the typical "mama", "dada", and "baba" were "dog" and "duck".  They came pretty much at the same time so it is hard to say which was first.  If you come to our house you will find rubber ducks all over the place.  Surfer ducks, pirate ducks, fighter pilot ducks, you name it - we have it.  Never much interested in a lovie, Kate has always enjoyed carrying around her duckies.  They make her happy so I'm happy.

Right before John left I asked him about her 2nd birthday party.  I was thinking of doing a ladybug theme because her nickname is "Katie-bug".  He immediately said that no, her party should definitely be a duck theme.  I will admit that in my mind, ladybug decor seemed much cuter than duck decor.  Ducks scream baby shower to me (and not even a very chic baby shower).  But he was right, and so the duck planning began.

Yesterday the duck party came to fruition.  I tried to keep it simple since John is away and I only have so much energy to plan and execute parties.  I ordered some food, my friend made Kate a cake, and I rented a local park pavilion next to a playground.  I invited some close friends and family.  We had great weather and a fun, casual, relaxing afternoon.

The first 5 weeks of John's deployment were a lot of fun for them.  They visited three European ports which meant good food, shopping, and sight seeing.  But as I said in one of my previous posts, the fun is over and the serious business starts now.

Having your husband fly in combat isn't easy.  While it is true that Iraq and Afghanistan have very little in the anti-aircraft department, there are many countries in that area that do.  And those countries always have their eye on us.  Plus, landing on an aircraft carrier isn't exactly the safest thing in the world.  So this is when I need to start keeping my nerves in check and letting the days wash over me. 

I don't ask John to write me when he lands or tell me when he's flying because I would worry more.  I don't want to be sitting at my computer hitting the refresh button at 2AM because I knew he was out and didn't write.  So we both go on about our daily business, writing when we can and talking mostly about things going on at home with me.  With the last two deployments it wasn't until he got home that I heard "exciting" stories.  I like it better that way. 

Please keep the Bush and Air Wing 8 in your prayers.

John and I took the long road to parenthood.  We chose to wait several years to try to get pregnant, and then due to some problems ended up taking several years longer to have Kate.  We experienced two losses before she was born.  By the time we had her in our arms it was surreal;  like we were dreaming.  John confided in me recently that up until she was about 18 months old he had a horrible fear that something was going to happen to her.  That she was too good to be true.  We learned the hard way that pregnancy and birth are incredibly miraculous.  Precious and fragile.  Unbelievable when everything goes perfectly, but terrifying how quickly things can derail.  Life can change in an instant.

I think that John would have been an amazing father in any circumstance.  He is loyal and loving, gentle and kind, and passionate about his family and friends.  I always tease him that he makes this face when he really loves something.  It is a subtle smile that I have learned to recognize over the past 15 years.  It looks like this:

Back when Connor was born in November I set a goal that I would run another 1/2 marathon before his first birthday.  This was was a pretty big and ambitious goal because I was at the end of my second "modified bed rest" pregnancy in 2 years.  I had gained over 80 pounds between trying to get pregnant (thanks fertility drugs, stress eating, and depression) and staying pregnant (no exercise or even walking around the mall). 

If you read my post on my first month of deployment you will remember that I said I really needed to get my butt in gear with the exercise.  I will give myself some props in the diet department.  I have lost 73 pounds since Connor was born all thanks to diet and nursing and running around being a mommy of two crazy babies.  But now the hard part comes in...  I am signed up to run the Rock 'n Roll 1/2 Marathon on September 4th.  Not only have I signed up, but I told the world on Facebook (which, ya know, means that I HAVE to do it or suffer FB shame), and family is coming into town to run with me and/or babysit.  I'm committed.

So this week I finally went and joined the YMCA.  It is getting hotter and hotter here and the prospect of doing long runs in the stroller is diminishing.  While stroller runs are good exercise, I don't want to cook my kiddos.  Yesterday was our first outing to the Y.  I was a little nervous because as social as my children are, you never know how they are going to react to a new daycare setting.  When we walked into the "Stay and Play" room, Kate was off to the races.  With all of the colorful toys and other kids her age around it was as if I had disappeared.  She yelled "bye mommy!" and dove into the first tunnel she could get to.  Connor was handed over to the infant side and happily went into an exersaucer.  When I peaked in on them after 30 minutes Connor had one of the daycare workers to himself and was eating up all of the attention.

I got a good run in.  In silence (I didn't even bring my iPod - I just wanted SILENCE).  In air conditioning.  Knowing my kids were right next door and having fun with new toys and people.  Life was good.

Monday starts my official training through Hal Higdon's program.  Tuesday starts Kate's first swimming lessons.  I think I will basically be living at the YMCA for the next few months.  As I continue this journey to getting back in "running shape" I will probably have some ups and downs.  I'll keep this blog updated and HOPEFULLY be able to blog about completing my goal of running 13.1 miles September 4th. 

Today as I was driving to my much-needed pedicure, I looked up and saw this:


And it gave me goosebumps.

VAW-125, the Tigertails, were flying home from their 7 month deployment on the USS Carl Vinson.  I knew they were coming home today, but I didn't think that I would be driving by the base at the exact time they were in their homecoming formation.  It is highly unusual to see hawkeyes in formation, so when you see it, you know something special is going on.  I knew that not more than a mile away, dozens of family members and friends were waiting at the hangar.  Waiting to see those planes, watch them land, and most importantly, to embrace their loved one for the first time since November.  Goosebumps.

Homecoming is something that is so hard to describe because the emotions are so heightened.  Just like you can't describe the emotions of having a child or getting married.  It is just such a special feeling.  As one of my wise friends once said, homecoming almost makes deployment worth it.  Almost.

Welcome home Tigertails, so great to see you!  And welcome home to the USS Carl Vinson and all associated squadrons on the east and west coast!