It is a common thing for a military family to say "goodbye" to friends and neighbors.  It is part of our culture, part of what makes the lifestyle heart wrenching.  We are on our toes all the time because someone is always going.  Moving across the country or even around the world.  Going going going.  It is the part of the fabric that makes the military lifestyle hard.  It is also part of what makes it great.

Last week when I visited one friend in California she said that after four years at her current location that she was ready to leave.  While she adored the area, the scenery, the climate, and her children's schools, her heart was at it's limit.  At this particular base, four years is an unusually long amount of time to stay put.  And because of that, she had watched friends come and go.  And come and go.  Come and go.  Houses that once housed her closest friends now housed strangers.  Literally not one person who had welcomed her to the area was living there anymore.

I wasn't shocked to hear her sadness over this issue.  John and I lived in Norfolk for about five years before we moved to Maryland in 2008.  In some ways I felt similarly then.  I had been there a long time and most of the people who had been my first Navy wife friends had moved on to other areas.  When we left Maryland our ranks were thinning.  Because of the nature of Test Pilot School, a whole bunch of us arrived at the exact same time.  But we didn't all leave at the same time.  When the last few families were packing up to make the trip elsewhere it started feeling very quiet and lonely. 

This normal sadness that my friend shared was a huge contrast to the feelings I had while planning my trip to California.  It made me think about the many pros and cons to this lifestyle and how they are constantly at battle in my mind.  Do I love it?  Do I hate it?  Does it depend on the day or the amount of wine I have consumed?

I often joke that California "steals" my friends.  So many of John and my closest friends live out there.  My best friend from high school and John's best friend from the Naval Academy live about 3 miles apart in San Diego.  Two of my best buddies from VAW 126 (John's first fleet squadron) live in San Diego too.  As does the friend I met while John was at TPS who watched Kate in her home during her first year while I worked full time.  John's brother moved to San Francisco a year ago.  Kate's godfather and someone who we have seen at least once per week since moving back to Norfolk is moving to California at the beginning of May.  Seriously, at this point, take me with you!

Naturally, our trip last week was as much about seeing people as it was about seeing places.  And there is honestly something really special about experiencing a new place with familiar people.  Going to Sea World with Julie and April was fun because they are the same people that I explored Norfolk with.  Hanging out with Leighanne and Betsy at a great airport cafe in Ventura was fun for me because they are the same people I went to bars in Norfolk with (before kids!) and attended 80s parties in Maryland with.  It is like vacationing with friends - but not having to deal with the logistics of vacationing with friends.  And if we actually did end up with orders out there, I already have an army of friends waiting for me.  There is something pretty cool about living down the street from someone on the Atlantic Ocean then moving and living down the street from them on the Pacific Ocean.  Something special and unusual that we might take for granted.

Don't get me wrong.  The idea of growing roots, having the same friends down the street for decades, and not saying goodbye to everyone is certainly appealing.  But it is definitely less adventurous.  There are few places around the globe where we don't know someone living that we could call to get a tour or a great restaurant recommendation from.  From Australia to Italy to Spain to Hawaii and Japan, I can honestly say we have Navy "family" there.  And while I often wish we could all live on the same block forever, would we really appreciate it?  Appreciate each other as much? 

For now I am enjoying having friends here, there, everywhere...

We are back on the east coast adjusting to jet lag and having a stay-cation from our vacation.  The kids are exhausted but I know it is because of all the fun things they saw and did over the past week.  I lived dangerously and allowed the family to go nap-free (if you know me you know this is a big deal ...  huge..).  We logged 830 miles onto our rental swagger wagon and enjoyed seeing new places, hanging with good friends, and eating (a lot) of delicious food.

We started in San Francisco where we met up with John's brother Rich and his girlfriend Sarah.  Sarah is attending UC Berkeley getting her MBA so we stayed in their neck of the woods.  We had never seen Berkeley and enjoyed observing the mix of yuppies and hippies running around.  Even more confusing was the restaurant that boasted a combination of Indian-Pakistani-Mexican.  hmmmm...  Sarah and Rich insisted we go down to Telegraph Avenue, probably the most eclectic area of Berkeley so that we could get a feel for the town (or overpowering smell of incense).  In reality, it was a way to get ice cream sandwiches at C.R.E.A.M, which stands for Cookies Rule Everything Around Me.  My husband has the biggest sweet tooth on the planet so I think his conservative butt was instantly sold on super liberal Berkeley. 

On Thursday, went to Golden Gate Park and enjoyed the children's playground area. They have a historic concrete slide that was retained from the old playground built in the late 1800s.









Toward the end of our drive we got to see the amazing elephant seals in Southern Big Sur.  There were thousands of them.  Enormous and grumpy, it seemed as if they were all fighting for the most comfortable section of the beach.  We watched them snore, shuffle around, fight, and roll over for about 20 minutes.  The sounds were amazing and it was really cool to see such a spectacle up close.  And not at the zoo.

It is 4 AM PST and you would think my kids were ready to go run a marathon.  Connor is literally jumping up and down in his Pack 'n Play.  I spent an ungodly amount of money for PBS On Demand so that they can "relax" (read: so that we don't have to get up and start our routine at 4 AM).  You know you are a parent when you pull your rental mini van up to the hotel and the first question you ask your husband is "what time is breakfast in the morning?" and when he says "6:30 AM" you cringe at the realization that you will have at least 2 hours to kill before then. 

But we're thrilled to be here!  Sleep is overrated, right?

We have a busy week planned.  John's brother Rich lives in Berkeley.  He moved here a little over a year ago and we felt it was time to show our "you moved far away but we still love you" support.  We will be here until Saturday when we jump in our sexy car mini van and head south on the Pacific Coast Highway toward San Diego.  We will spend one night somewhere around Santa Barbara, visit some good friends at Point Mugu Naval Air Station on Sunday morning, and be in San Diego by evening.  Since "all of our friends live in San Diego" (no, I don't mean that literally, it just feels that way sometimes) we will have a whirlwind few days seeing them, basking in the sun on Coronado Island, getting our taste of spoon-fed fun at Sea World, and enjoying good Mexican food.

Then, just as the kids adjust to Pacific Standard Time, we will jump back on an airplane and head home.  I'll keep you apprised of our adventures!

My trip to visit my girlfriends was wonderful.  They surprised me with a massage, we ate sushi, we stayed up late talking, I didn't stare at the clock calculating how many hours of sleep I was losing because of how early Connor would wake up.  I was free to go on a long run, I didn't feel dependant on coffee.  I slept in.  I drank good wine, stopped and browsed in every store that called out to me, and waited until the very last hour to buy things for my kids.  I got to reexplore the girly side of myself and hear all about the fun, interesting, and lovely things my sorority sisters are up to.  It was an amazing time and I can't wait to do it again.


Of course, because there is balance in the world, Murphy paid me a visit.

Sadly, Connor experienced his first high fever on Saturday night.  I got a phone call from Johnny while riding the Subway back to my friend's apartment.  Damn you, Murphy!  It was like I got too relaxed, too swept up into the freedom of the weekend and the Universe screamed out "not so fast, anxiety girl! you can't possibly go an entire 48 hours without worry".  So I worried.  I sat by the phone.  And prayed I didn't have to drive to Laguardia that night in order to beg, borrow, and steal my way onto the next flight back to Norfolk.

Thankfully, my super husband handled everything perfectly.  Connor is a sick little boy, but his dad knows not only how to be a good father, but how to be a great husband to me.  He knows my anxiety and downplayed everything for me so that I could go back to my weekend.  John has learned how to expertly navigate my worry; how to get information from me without showing his hand completely. He also knows that I needed a few days on my own.  A few days to decompress, relax, and just do "whatever girls do" as he always says.

Connor is recovering.  He has hand, foot, & mouth disease (eew) and an ear infection.  He is also teething which just makes it a trifecta of pain for the little guy.  But he is strong, his daddy took good care of him, and everything worked out.  I am thankful for my girlfriends for showing me an amazing time this weekend.  I am thankful for a husband who not only knows how to care for me, but how to care for Kate and Connor. 

I'm a lucky girl.