Babies Don't Keep

One week from today my baby will turn one.  I feel like the last year has gone by in a whirlwind.  He was born right on the brink of holiday season, we moved when he was two and a half months old, and then my husband left on deployment the day he turned six months.  Since then I have been torn between wanting time to speed up and slow down simultaneously.  My husband has missed so much of his babyhood and I just can't imagine how he feels.  I sent him a video the other day and while he loves every single thing I send him, the guilt he is feeling right now is palpable over the phone.  It breaks my heart.

I just can't believe my baby will be a toddler.  It sounds so cliche, but the older I get the faster time flies.  And I just wish that I could have my cuddly newborn back for one more day - night wake ups and all.

My sweet boy, 1 day old

For the next week I am going to soak up every moment.  I know that there isn't some magic thing that happens on his first birthday, but there is something about the transition that makes me incredibly sad.  I love that he is growing up and so happy and active, but I will miss the snuggles and the smells of babyhood.

  Cleaning and scrubbing will wait ’till tomorrow, but children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs! Dust go to sleep! I’m rocking my baby. Babies don’t keep.

– Ruth Hamilton